Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Earning and Spending Points

I've gone over this "theory" a bunch of times with friends over the years and finally am going to attempt to blog about it.

Guys, you know how when you do something good for the one you love you think to yourself...
"Big points for that!"
You know what I'm talking about, right? Come up with that special gift and you get points. Doing the dishes gets you points. Remembering birthday's gets you points, but remembering her sisters birthday gets you even more. I'm not talking about lame airline points, miles or fake currency here... I'm talking about pure relationship pointage... and you know what that could get you!

Different acts gets you different points - everyone has their own scale. The scale isn't what's important here at all. No. Before I get into the heart of the matter, here's a sampling of possible things you can do with points to whet your appetite:
  • Long golf weekend with the boys
  • Poker nights
  • Ability to purchase new gadgets with immunity
  • Your favorite meal
  • Being left alone for 3 friggen minutes already
  • A 3 letter word that starts with a capital S
  • Add your own per your own relationship
What is crucial here, and what sits at the heart of my theory is how and when you can spend those hard earned points.

I've done a lot of thinking about this over the years and I'm fairly certain I've got it right. Pay close attention here, because this is important. I'm going to give you the key right up front so you can chew on it while I continue to blather on...
You lose points at a dramatically faster rate than you can ever accumulate them.
Read it again, because it's critical that you get this part right. The key piece of the theory is the word "dramatically."

Please understand that the way this works is that you can happily accumulate points for as long as you want. But you'll lose them all immediately with simple slip ups. Trust me here, it's true.

Don't want to blindly trust me? Ok... then take a look at some of my well-honed and immutable points laws...
  1. You cannot safely accumulate points over a long span of time. Any attempt to hoard points will be met with complete point bankruptcy
  2. It takes effort to earn points, yet takes no effort to lose them.
  3. You cannot trade in points
  4. Points are not transferable under any circumstances
  5. There are no negative points, thank God.
Right? See where I'm going yet?

In conclusion and to wrap this up; when you earn points, you must find ways to spend them immediately!


Marc said...

You are all lame.. no comments? C'mon.

Just got an email from someone who points out two key things..

The Guy Points game is exactly like the three laws of thermodynamics:

1 You can’t win
2 You can’t break even
3 You can’t quit the game

He also said that there it's not true, that there are negative points.

I think I didn't explain that piece correctly - I'm still noodling on this part.

There are negative points (ie you can go from having high points to low points. But once you reach "0" - I'm not entirely sure how negative points works, or if they even exist. It's my own black hole or quantum physics experiment.

The doghouse surely exists (been there, done that!), but I think it's the scale that's different. I'm not sure (yet). Eventually, I'll get there and I'll let you know. It won't take long I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

Marc, as I've told you in private, talking about The Points in public costs us all points. Just posting this comment could have horrible repercussions for us all!